From: JOHN AND JOYCE ROMIG Sent: Saturday, January 10, 2004 10:05 PM To: Undisclosed-Recipient:; Subject: Church Marquee Signs The best vitamin for a Christian is B1. Under same management for over 2000 years! Soul food served here. Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk! Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church. Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case. Life has many choices. Eternity has two. What's yours? Worry is interest paid on trouble, before it is due. Wal-Mart isn't the only saving place! Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible. It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees. What part of "Thou Shalt Not" don't you understand? A clear conscience makes a soft pillow. The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday. Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive. Can't Sleep? Try counting your blessings. Forbidden fruit creates many jams. Christians, keep the faith...but not from others! Satan subtracts and divides. God multiplies and multiplies. To belittle is to be little. Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you. God answers knee-mail. Try Jesus . . . If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back. ================ 5/13/04 ADDITION ================ -----Original Message----- From: Chuck Haag Sent: Wednesday, May 12, 2004 2:33 PM Subject: FW: Holy Humor 1. There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign: CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY - Trespassers will be baptized! 2. "No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace." 3. "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!" 4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins." 5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!" 6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets." 7. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too." 8. "People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are." 9. "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily." 10. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Nonsmoking?" 11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives" 12. "Come work for the Lord The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world." 13. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin." 14. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church." 15. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns." 16. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again." 17. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon." 18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" (U R) 19. "In the dark? Follow the Son." 20. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up." 21. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."