From: "Chuck Haag"
Subject: FW: Recall Notice!!!
Date: Tue, 13 Jun 2000 07:58:18 -0400
=== IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE ===
The maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and
central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the
original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the
reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has
been technically termed, 'Subsequent Internal Non-Morality, or more
commonly known as S-I-N, as it is primarily symptomized by loss of moral
judgment. Some other symptoms:
(a)Loss of direction
(b)Foul vocal emissions
c)Amnesia of origin
(d)Lack of peace and joy
(e)Selfish, or violent, behavior
(f)Depression or confusion in the mental component
(g)Fearful
(h)Idolatry
The manufacturer, who is neither liable or at fault for this defect,
providing factory authorized repair and service, free of charge to correct
this SIN defect. The number to call for the recall station in your
area is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN by
pressing R-E-P-E-N-T-A-N-C-E. Next, download J-E-S-U-S into the heart. No matter
how big or small the SIN defect is, the JESUS repair will replace it with:
(a)Love
(b)Joy
(c)Peace
(d)Longsuffering
(e)Gentleness
(f)Goodness
(g)Faith
(h)Meekness
(I)Temperance
Please see operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the useof these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without correction,
voidsthe manufacturer's warranty, exposing owner to dangers and problems
too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently
impounded. For free emergency service, call on J-E-S-U-S. DANGER: The
human units not receiving this recall action will have to be scrapped in
the furnace. The SIN defect must not enter heaven or else heaven will be
infected.